Forgetting seems like a negative thing, but what if you were told that forgetting is actually an important and beneficial process, especially for kids who are learning? Understanding how forgetting works can help parents guide their children in a way that enhances memory and learning.
Firstly, forgetting is completely normal and it happens to everyone — especially for kids juggling multiple subjects in school. Imagine your child preparing for their Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) or their O-Level exams. They might find that after focusing hard on math one day, they suddenly can’t remember the science facts they studied the day before. This doesn’t mean they’re not learning; it’s just their brain trying to manage all the information.
The Science of Forgetting: What Really Happens?
When we forget something, two things could be happening in the brain. First, the information might be lost entirely—like a book that’s been removed from the shelf. Second, the information could still be there, but it’s temporarily out of reach—like a book that’s been misplaced but not gone forever.
Have you ever struggled to recall a piece of information, only for it to suddenly pop back into your mind? This common experience suggests that the second scenario—temporary blocking—is often at play. But why does this happen?
Why We Forget: The Role of Memory and Interference
The simplest explanation is that memories fade over time if they’re not regularly accessed. Think of it like a path in a garden—if no one walks on it, it becomes overgrown. But this doesn’t explain why we sometimes suddenly remember something we thought we’d forgotten, especially when something in our environment triggers it, like a smell or a song.
Sometimes, our brains can get a little mixed up which is particularly relevant when your child is learning similar information. For example, if your child is learning both Hanyu Pinyin and Phonics, they might accidentally mix up the sounds or characters from each language. This happens because the brain is trying to handle too much similar information at once. The memories from what they learned before can get in the way of the new things they’re trying to remember, making it harder to keep everything straight.
The Benefits of Forgetting: Why It’s Good for Your Child’s Brain
Forgetting might seem like something that just happens to us, but research shows it can be an active process. When people are told to forget certain information, they can actually do so, and their brain activity shows this is a deliberate action. Forgetting requires more cognitive effort than remembering, which suggests that our brains are selectively choosing what to hold onto and what to let go of.
But why would our brains want to forget anything? Imagine if your child remembered every single detail of every single day—they’d be overwhelmed with information! Forgetting helps them filter out unnecessary details, making room for the important stuff. It’s like clearing out old toys to make space for new ones that are more relevant to their current interests.
How Forgetting Can Boost Your Child’s Memory
Believe it or not, forgetting can actually help your child remember better. When they forget and then later relearn something, their brain strengthens the memory, much like how muscles grow stronger after they’ve been worked and allowed to rest. This is why review sessions after a period of not studying a subject can be so effective.
For example, if your child is preparing for a math test, spacing out their study sessions with breaks in between (where they might “forget” some of the material) can lead to stronger, longer-lasting memories. This technique, known as spaced repetition, takes advantage of the forgetting process to make learning more efficient.
Here’s some instances on how forgetting is actually part of the learning process:
Mixing Up Math Formulas: Your child might confuse math formulas, like mixing up the perimeter formula with the formula of area. This confusion isn’t a sign of poor memory but rather a sign that their brain is working through the information. When they eventually sort it out, the correct formulas will stick even better.
Language Learning Confusion: If your child is learning both English and Chinese, they might accidentally use an English word when trying to speak in Chinese or vice versa. This happens because their brain is trying to keep two language systems straight. Over time, as they practice switching between languages, their brain becomes better at managing this information.
Reviewing After a Break: Let’s say your primary school child is revising for an upcoming test. They study their science notes on Monday, take a break, and then return to them on Thursday. They might find that they’ve forgotten some of the details.
However, as they go over the material again, they’ll actually remember it better in the long run. This is because their brain has had time to sort through and process the information and strengthen the important bits during the break.
After-School Activities Interference: If your child has a busy day with school, tuition, and extracurricular activities like piano lessons or swimming, they might forget something from their earlier lessons. This isn’t because they didn’t learn it well; it’s just their brain managing all the different inputs. Revisiting the material later, perhaps after dinner, can help reinforce what they learned.
Practical Takeaway for Parents
How can you apply this knowledge at home? Here are a few tips:
Encourage Breaks: Don’t worry if your child seems to forget what they learned last week. Encourage them to take breaks between study sessions. When they review the material later, they’re likely to remember it more strongly.
Cross-study Topics: If your child is studying subjects like math and science, they might sometimes mix up concepts, like confusing the formula for speed with the one for distance. While it may seem like a mistake, this kind of mixing can actually help their brain make stronger connections once they figure out the correct information. By studying different subjects together, your child can learn to organize and recall information more effectively over time.
Use Triggers: Help your child associate certain subjects with specific triggers. For example through linking what they learn to everyday activities. If they’re learning about money in math class, have them count money and make payments while shopping This way, they can connect the math concepts they’ve learned to real-life situations, making it easier for them to remember and understand what they’re learning.
Review Regularly: Help your child set up a review schedule where they revisit materials periodically. This will strengthen their memory and make it easier for them to recall information during exams.
Normalize Forgetfulness: If your child forgets something, don’t panic. Remind them (and yourself) that this is part of the learning process. It’s not about never forgetting; it’s about reinforcing the memory when it comes back.
In a world where we’re constantly bombarded with information, selective forgetting is a crucial part of how our brains function. By understanding and leveraging the power of forgetting, you can help your child learn more effectively and navigate the complexities of their growing world.
~ Written by our founder, Xinyi, who completed a “Learning and Memory in the Brain” course by University of Cambridge ~
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